The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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