There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
