Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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