that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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