Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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