I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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