I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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