Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want her autograph on my taint
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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