You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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