He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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