ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
