dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
