Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is Oprah even human
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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