She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
