My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
