I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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