I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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