U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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