I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize