Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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