Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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