i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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