he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
