You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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