I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
