i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
