so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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