So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
