haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
