She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
