she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
