Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You made out with two different species that night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
