I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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