So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
