i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Randomize
