Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
