Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
