Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
