hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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