508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
