i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
