I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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