Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
