I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize