I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize