dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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