shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
