So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
