IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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