Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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