ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
