we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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