he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize