WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
