I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
