i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
