i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!