I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
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there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.