i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.