the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
