This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
