do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
