I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
