Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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