I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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