I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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