You're a womanizer and a bitch.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
