I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
