do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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