sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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