so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
