Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
